Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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