also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
