I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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