Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
