i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
