his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
