On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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