We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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