the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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