I got chris browned last night
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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