he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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