You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
