I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
PANTIES FOUND
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
