need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
