Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
