So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
