Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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