we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
