I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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