she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
