If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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