my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
did you just send me my own nude
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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