Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize