I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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