I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
