You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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