She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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