He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
