i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
