Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
