if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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