Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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