OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize