I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
