i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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