This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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