You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
