i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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