hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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