I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
