so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize