A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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