one two three fourrrrnication!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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