Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
