in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is Oprah even human
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
