Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
