Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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