He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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