Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
