I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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