i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
