It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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