Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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