Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
