No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
