sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
