Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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