I feel great
I just peed on a car
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
