Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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