Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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