I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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