you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
