So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
