I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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