Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
